[CS-FSLUG] OT: ONE CAN ONLY WISH.... THIS IS TOO FUNNY!!!

[Fred A. Miller]

Outsourcing

Congress today announced that the office of President of the  United
States of America  will be out sourced to  India  as of September 1, 2009.

The move is being made in order to save the President's $500,000 yearly
salary, and also a record $750 billion in deficit expenditures and
related overhead that his office has incurred during the last 3 months.

It is anticipated that $7 trillion can be saved to the end of the
President's term. "We believe this is a wise financial move. The cost
savings are huge," stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). "We cannot
remain competitive on the world stage with the current level of cash
outlay," Reynolds noted.

Obama was informed by email this morning of his termination.
Preparations for the job move have been underway for some time.

Gurvinder Singh, a tele-technician for Indus Teleservices, Mumbai  India
 , will assume the office of President as of September 1, 2009. Mr.
Singh was born in the  United States  while his Indian
parent s were vacationing at  Niagara Falls  ,  NY  . Thus making him
eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a
month, but no health coverage or other benefits.

It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job
responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference
between the  US  and  India  , he will be working primarily at night.
"Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the Dell Computer
call center," stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview.

"I am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President."
A Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully
aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this should
not be a problem as Obama had never been familiar with the issues either.

Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond
effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned responses, he
can address common concerns without having to understand the underlying
issue at all. "We know these scripting tools work," stated the spokesperson.

"Obama has used them successfully for years, with the result that some
people actually thought he knew what he was talking about."

Obama will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his final
day of employment. Following a two-week waiting period, he will be
eligible for $140 a week unemployment for 26 weeks. Unfortunately he
will not be eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits will
exceed the allowed limit.

Obama has been provided with the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc.
to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition.
According to Manpower, Obama may have difficulties in securing a new
position due to a lack of any successful work experience during his
lifetime.

A greeter position at Wal Mart was suggested due to Obama's extensive
experience at shaking hands, as well as his special smile.

Michael Connally

-- 
"Where's The Birth Certificate?"