Fred A. Miller fmiller at lightlink.com
Mon Jan 7 15:46:20 CST 2013


*Yesterday I was at my local Kroger buying a large bag of Purina dog 
chow for my loyal pet, Jake the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line 
when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. *

*What did she think I had, an elephant? *

*So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her 
that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I 
added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last 
time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care 
ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. *

*I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that 
it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply 
eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally 
complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to 
mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with 
my story.) *

*Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog 
food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to relieve myself on a Fire 
Hydrant and a car hit me. *

*I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was 
laughing so hard. *

*Kroger won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask 
retired people. They have  all the time in the world to think of crazy 
things to say. Forward this (especially) to all your retired 
friends...it will be their laugh for the day! *

List(s) of made in the USA:

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