[CS-FSLUG] Selling Bibles

Fred A. Miller fmiller at lightlink.com
Mon Mar 9 19:15:18 CDT 2009

Selling Bibles

While checking the church storeroom, the pastor discovered several cases of
new Bibles that never had been opened and distributed. So at his Sunday
sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be
willing to sell the Bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise money for the
church. Jack, Paul, and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the

The minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen and
likely capable of selling some Bibles. But he had serious doubts about
a local farmer who always had kept to himself because he was embarrassed by
his speech impediment. Poor Louie stuttered badly. But because he didn't
to discourage Louie, the minister decided to let him try anyway.

He sent the three of them away with the backseats of their cars stacked
Bibles. He asked them to meet with him and report the results of their
efforts the following Sunday.

Anxious to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately
Jack, "Well, Jack, how did you make out selling our Bibles last week?"
Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Jack replied, "Using my sales
prowess, I was able to sell 20 Bibles, and here's the $200 I collected on
behalf of the church."

"Fine job, Jack!" the minister said, vigorously shaking his hand.. "You are
indeed a fine salesman and the church is indebted to you."
Turning to Paul, he said, "And Paul, how many Bibles did you sell for the
church last week?"

Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, "I am a
professional salesman. I sold 28 Bibles on behalf of the church, and here's
the $280 I collected."

The minister responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a
professional salesman and the church is also indebted to you."

Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louie and said, "And Louie, did you
manage to sell any Bibles last week?" Louie silently offered the minister a
large envelope. The minister opened it and counted the contents. "Louie,
there's $3,200 in here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 Bibles for the
church, door-to-door, in just one week?" Louie just nodded.

"That's impossible!" both Jack and Paul said in unison. "We are
salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many Bibles as we could."
"Yes, this does seem unlikely," the minister agreed. "I think you'd better
explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louie."

Louie shrugged. "I-I-I re-re-re-really do-do-do-don't kn-kn-kn-know
sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered. "A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-s-said
wa-wa-wa-was 'W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-like t-t-t-to b-b-b-buy
th-th-th-this b-b-b-Bible f-f-f-for t-t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks o-o-o-or
wo-wo-wo-would yo-yo-yo-you j-j-j-just l-l-l-like m-m-m-me t-t-t-to
st-st-st-stand h-h-h-here and r-r-r-read it t-t-t-to y-y-y-you?'"

"The fundamental premise of liberalism is the moral and
rational incapacity of the American people." ~ Fred Miller

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