[CS-FSLUG] OT: Kids and Prayers

[Fred A. Miller]

LOT'S WIFE

     The  Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked
back and
turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, 'My Mommy
looked back once while she was driving,' he announced triumphantly, 'and
she
turned into a telephone pole!'

  GOOD SAMARITAN

      A  Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good
Samaritan. She asked the class, 'If you saw a person lying on the roadside,
all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?'
      A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, 'I think I'd throw
up.'

  DID NOAH FISH?

       A Sunday school teacher asked, 'Johnny, do you think Noah did a
lot of
fishing when he was on the Ark?'
     'No,' replied Johnny. 'How could he, with just two worms.'

  MOSES AND THE RED SEA

       Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in
Sunday School.
     'Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy
lines on
a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the
Red
Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked
across
safely. Then he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers
to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved.'
     'Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?' his mother
asked
     'Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never
believe it!'

 THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD

      A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize
one of
the most quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a
month to learn the chapter. Little Rick was excited about the task - but he
just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get
past the first line.
     On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of
the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up
to the microphone and said proudly, 'The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's
all
I need to know.'

 UNANSWERED PRAYER

      The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always
paused
and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, she
asked him why.
     'Well, Honey,' he began, proud that his daughter was so observant
of his
messages. 'I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon.'
     'How come He doesn't answer it?' she asked.

    TIME TO PRAY

       A pastor asked a little boy if he said his prayers every night.
     'Yes, sir,' the boy replied.
     'And, do you always say them in the morning, too?' the pastor asked.
     'No sir,' the boy replied. 'I ain't scared in the daytime.'

  SAY A PRAYER

      Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his
Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was
being served. When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating
right
away. 'Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer.' said his mother.
     'I don't need to,' the boy replied.
     'Of course, you do,' his mother insisted. 'We always say a prayer
before
eating at our house.'
     'That's at our house,' Johnny explained. 'But this is Grandma's
house and
she knows how to cook!'

-- 
"The fundamental premise of liberalism is the moral incapacity
of the American people." ~ Alan Keyes