[CS-FSLUG] Subject: 21 Steps to Becoming a Liberal

[Fred Miller]

Subject: 21 Steps to Becoming a Liberal
 
 Virtually anyone can be a Liberal. Just simply quit thinking and vote
that way. If you want to be a GOOD Liberal, however, there are some
prerequisites you must have first. Compare the below and see how you
rate... 
 
1.  You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of Federal
funding. 
 
2. You have to believe that the same school system that can't teach 4th
graders how to read is somehow the best qualified to teach those same kids
all about sex. 
 
3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans,
are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology, in the hands of
Chinese communists. 
 
4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding. 
 
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by
yuppies driving SUVs'! 

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being
homosexual is natural 
 
7. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on
demand. 
 
8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments
create prosperity. 
 
9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony
activists from Seattle do. 
 
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually
doing something to earn it. 
 
11. You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.
 
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts
of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain
parts of the constitution. 
 
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

 
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more
important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee
or Thomas Edison. 
 
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial
quotas and set-asides aren't. 
 
16. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is all about "progress" and not
power. She just wants to help us out of the archaic system of governing
that we've been subject to. 
 
17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in
charge. 
 
18. You have to believe Republicans telling the truth belong in jail, but
a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House and you would vote him
back in there in a New York minute (if you could). 
 
19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag,
transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and
manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal. 
 
20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the
Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States. 
 
21. You have to believe that the vociferous minorities who protest against
prayer and saluting the flag in school have far more rights than the
majority who believe in God and country and want these values to be
instilled in our young children.
 
 If you are locked in solidly to most of these beliefs -- you're gonna be
a big asset to John Kerry.

-- 
"Running Windows on a Pentium is like getting a Porsche but only being
able to drive it in reverse with the handbrake on."