<html>
<head>
<meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=ISO-8859-1">
</head>
<body bgcolor="#FFFFCC" text="#000000">
<font size="3"><font face="Arial">This is cute should brighten your
day. </font></font><br>
<font face="Arial" size="3"> </font> <br>
<table width="100%">
<tbody>
<tr valign="top">
<td width="100%"><font size="3"> </font> <br>
<table width="100%">
<tbody>
<tr valign="top">
<td width="100%"><br>
<table width="100%">
<tbody>
<tr valign="top">
<td width="100%">
<table width="100%">
<tbody>
<tr valign="top">
<td width="100%"><font size="3"> </font>
<br>
<table width="100%">
<tbody>
<tr valign="top">
<td width="100%"><font
color="#004200" size="5">A
father was approached by
his small son who told him
proudly, "I know what the
Bible means!"<br>
<br>
His father smiled and
replied, "What do you
mean, you 'know' what the
Bible means?<br>
The son replied, "I do
know!"<br>
<br>
"Okay," said his father.
"What does the Bible
mean?"<br>
<br>
"That's easy, Daddy..."
the young boy replied
excitedly," It stands for
'Basic Information Before
Leaving Earth.' (This one
is my favorite)<br>
<br>
=======<br>
<br>
There was a very gracious
lady who was mailing an
old family Bible to her
brother in another part of
the country.<br>
"Is there anything
breakable in here?" asked
the postal clerk.<br>
"Only the Ten
Commandments," answered
the lady.<br>
<br>
========<br>
<br>
"Somebody has said there
are only two kinds of
people in the world. There
are those who wake up in
the morning and say, "Good
morning, Lord," and there
are those who wake up in
the morning and say, "Good
Lord, it's morning."<br>
<br>
========<br>
<br>
A minister parked his car
in a no-parking zone in a
large city because he was
short of time and couldn't
find a space with a meter.
Then he put a note under
the windshield wiper that
read: "I have circled the
block 10 times. If I don't
park here, I'll miss my
appointment. Forgive us
our trespasses."<br>
<br>
When he returned, he found
a citation from a police
officer along with this
note. "I've circled this
block for 10 years. If I
don't give you a ticket
I'll lose my job. Lead us
not into temptation."<br>
<br>
========<br>
<br>
There is the story of a
pastor who got up one
Sunday and announced to
his congregation: "I have
good news and bad news.
The good news is, we have
enough money to pay for
our new building program.
The bad news is, it's
still out there in your
pockets."<br>
<br>
========<br>
<br>
While driving in
Pennsylvania, a family
caught up to an Amish
carriage. The owner of the
carriage obviously had a
sense of humor, because
attached to the back of
the carriage was a hand
printed sign. "Energy
efficient vehicle: Runs on
oats and grass. Caution:
Do not step in exhaust."<br>
<br>
========<br>
<br>
A Sunday School teacher
began her lesson with a
question, "Boys and girls,
what do we know about
God?" A hand shot up in
the air. "He is an
artist," said
the kindergarten boy.<br>
<br>
"Really? How do you know,"
the teacher asked.<br>
<br>
"You know - Our Father,
who does art in Heaven..."<br>
<br>
========<br>
<br>
A minister waited in line
to have his car filled
with gas just before a
long holiday weekend.
The attendant worked
quickly, but there were
many cars ahead of him.
Finally, the attendant
motioned him toward a
vacant pump.<br>
<br>
"Reverend," said the young
man, "I'm so sorry about
the delay. It seems as if
everyone waits until the
last minute to get ready
for a long trip."<br>
<br>
The minister chuckled. "I
know what you mean. It's
the same in my business."<br>
<br>
========<br>
<br>
People want the front of
the bus, the back of the
church, and the center of
attention.<br>
<br>
========<br>
<br>
Sunday after church, a Mom
asked her very young
daughter what the lesson
was about.<br>
The daughter answered,
"Don't be scared, you'll
get your quilt."<br>
<br>
Needless to say, the Mom
was perplexed. Later in
the day, the pastor
stopped by for tea and the
Mom asked him what that
morning's Sunday school
lesson was about.<br>
<br>
He said "Be not afraid,
thy comforter is coming."<br>
<br>
========<br>
<br>
The minister was
preoccupied with thoughts
of how he was going to ask
the congregation to come
up with more money than
they were expecting for
repairs to the church
building. Therefore, he
was annoyed to find that
the regular organist was
sick and a substitute had
been brought in at the
last minute. The
substitute wanted to know
what to play.<br>
<br>
"Here's a copy of the
service," he said
impatiently. "But,
you'll have to think of
something to play after I
make the announcement
about the finances."<br>
<br>
During the service, the
minister paused and said,
"Brothers and Sisters, we
are in great difficulty;
the roof repairs cost
twice as much as we
expected and we need
$4,000 more. Any of you
who can pledge $100 or
more, please stand up."<br>
<br>
At that moment, the
substitute organist played
"The Star Spangled
Banner." And that is how
the substitute became the
regular organist!</font><font
size="4"> </font><font
color="#004200" size="5"><br>
</font></td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
<pre class="moz-signature" cols="72">--
Liberal ideology and political correctness, infused with
public policy, begets social insanity. - Michael Savage
</pre>
</body>
</html>