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<font size="3"><b>Achieving Godly Strength in
Marriage</b></font>
<p><font size="3">Jonathan Falwell</font></p>
<p><font size="3"> </font></p>
<p><font size="3">I have been preaching a series on marriage in recent
weeks and would like to share some thoughts on the topic in today’s
column. According to the Barna Group (<a
href="http://list.trbc.org/interspire/link.php?M=35591&N=62&L=41&F=H">www.barna.org</a>),
26
percent of evangelical Christians have experienced divorce, so there is
certainly a need to address this problem within the church
culture.</font></p>
<p><font size="3">My prayer for this column is two-fold. First, I
want to encourage any Christians now considering marriage to
prayerfully
ensure that they are spiritually and emotionally prepared for such an
important commitment. Second, I would like to hearten any Christians
going through a difficult time in their marriage to remember that the
husband-wife relationship is a sacred bond designed by God and we
should
take our oaths of marriage very seriously.</font></p>
<p><font size="3">You know, all too often, I believe Christians enter
into
marriage with flawed expectations. Young believers desiring marriage
often say to themselves:</font></p>
<ol>
<li><font size="3">Marriage will solve all my problems.</font></li>
<li><font size="3">We’ll have plenty of money.</font></li>
<li><font size="3">After we get married, he/she will change.</font></li>
<li><font size="3">We won’t fight; everything will be
perfect.</font></li>
</ol>
<p><font size="3">These types of unsound hopes can only lead to deep
problems. Certainly, other problems in our lives can lead to
difficulties
in marriage, including:</font></p>
<ul>
<li><font size="3">Over-dependence on parents.</font></li>
<li><font size="3">Focusing on past mistakes and failures.</font></li>
<li><font size="3">Insecurities about ourselves or our mate.</font></li>
<li><font size="3">Unachievable expectations for our mate.</font></li>
</ul>
<p><font size="3">Here’s a news flash: We’re all flawed.
As such, we need the perfect, infallible God to be our guide in every
area
of our lives—and certainly that includes our marriages. Without
God at the helm of any marriage, it is at risk. It’s that
simple. </font></p>
<p><font size="3">Therefore, every Christian should make it his/her
constant prayer that God will enable them to become the husband/wife
they
need to be, remembering that we cannot be what we need to be as a
husband/wife on our own. An important statistic that bears this out
is from a recent study that shows that of couples who attend church
together weekly AND pray together daily, the divorce rate is 1 in 1105,
or
.01%. Compare this rate to the overall divorce rate and you will see
how vitally important it is to base your relationship on God’s
principles.</font></p>
<p><font size="3">Let’s examine a very important biblical passage
regarding marriage: Genesis 2:21. It reads: “And the Lord God
caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of
his
ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the
Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to
the
man. And Adam said: ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of
my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of
Man.’ Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be
joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”</font></p>
<p><font size="3">This verse defines marriage as a God-ordained,
lifelong
covenant between man and woman. We see in this passage the
following:</font></p>
<ol>
<li><font size="3">God gives strength to marriage (“and the two
shall become one flesh…”). This is why II Corinthians
6:14 (“Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For
what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what
communion has light with darkness?”) is so important. Our
strength in marriage comes through a deep, continuing relationship with
God.</font></li>
<li><font size="3">Companionship equals Discipleship (“And the Lord
God said, ‘It is not good that man should be
alone...’”). As couples, we must be jointly working to be
followers of Christ so that we can properly put aside the petty
problems I
mentioned above. God must be at the core of our
marriages.</font></li>
<li><font size="3">God wants us to be supporters and equals of each
other
in marriage (“I will make him a helper comparable to
him…”). There is no room for selfish motives in
marriage.</font></li>
<li><font size="3">Our mission in marriage should be to walk with,
fear,
obey and serve the Savior together (Deuteronomy 13:4). </font></li>
</ol>
<p><font size="3">Again, to those who are struggling in marriage, I
have a
special message for you: God can help you change your expectations for
your
marriage. Successful marriages require tender hearts, my
friends. There are certainly biblical reasons for divorce, but we
must be willing to forgive other problems, ever mindful that our Savior
has
forgiven us first. Ask God to help you rise above your doubts, your
failings and your pain.</font></p>
<p><font size="3">Finally, I want to remind everyone of a Scriptural
passage that underlines the ideal condition of the Christian’s
heart. It is also the heart condition that all couples need.
Colossians 3:12-14: “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and
beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness,
longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if
anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so
you
also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the
bond of perfection.”</font></p>
<pre class="moz-signature" cols="72">--
"The most foolish mistake we could possibly make would be to
allow the people to carry arms. History shows that all
conquerors who have allowed their subjected peoples to carry
arms have prepared their own downfall by doing so."--Adolf Hitler</pre>
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