[CS-FSLUG] BIBLE STORIES BY KIDS

Fred A. Miller fmiller at lightlink.com
Thu May 19 15:27:06 CDT 2005


STORY OF ELIJAH

The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah the 
Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how Elijah built the 
altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in pieces, and laid it upon the altar. 
And then, Elijah commanded the people of God to fill four barrels of water 
and pour it over the altar. He had them do this four times. "Now," said the 
teacher, "can anyone in the class tell me why the Lord would have Elijah pour 
water over the steer on the altar?" A little girl in the back of the room 
started waving her hand, "I know! I know!" she said, "To make the gravy!"


LOT'S WIFE

The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and 
turned into a pillar of salt, when little Johnny interrupted, "My Mummy looked 
back once, while she was DRIVING," he announced triumphantly, "and she turned 
into a telephone pole!"


SUNDAY SCHOOL 

A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good 
Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead. She described 
the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the drama. Then, 
she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded 
and bleeding, what would you do?" A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed 
silence, "I think I'd throw up."


DID NOAH FISH?

A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of 
fishing when he was on the Ark?" No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just 
two worms?"


HIGHER POWER

A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been learning how 
powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power.

Can anybody tell me what it is? "One child blurted out, "Aces!"


SUNDAY SCHOOL

Nine year old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday 
school. "Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines 
on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the 
Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people 
walked across safely. Then, he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters 
for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the 
Israelites were saved. "Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught 
you?" his mother asked. "Well no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher 
did, you'd never believe it!"


THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD

A Sunday school teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the 
most quoted passages in the Bible; Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month 
to learn the verse. Little Bobby was excited about the task -- but, he just 
couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the 
first line. On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in 
front of the congregation, Bobby was so nervous. When it was his turn, he 
stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd and 
that's all I need to know.

(Amen, Bobby!)

-- 
             "BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU!"
 Brought to you by the US Department of Homeland Security
and the Patriot Act(s) numerous Presidential Directives, etc.




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