[CS-FSLUG] Oh for England...

[mash.]

In the beginning God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated 
the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower,spinach, and green, yellow and 
red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and 
healthy lives.

Then using  God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream
and Krispy Crème Donuts. And Satan said "You want chocolate with  that?" 
and Man said "Yes!" and Woman said "and while you're at it add some sprinkles."
And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yoghurt that Woman might keep the figure
that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat,
and sugar from the cane and  combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to
size 14.

So God said "Try my fresh green salad." And  Satan presented
Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and  garlic toast on the side. 
And Man and Woman unfastened their belts  following the repast.
God then said "I have sent you heart  healthy vegetables and olive oil 
in which to cook them." And Satan  brought forth deep fried fish and 
chicken and fried steak so big it  needed its own platter. 
And Man gained more weight and his  cholesterol went through the roof.
God then created a light, fluffy  white cake, named it "Angel Cake" and
said "It is good."

Satan then created chocolate cake and named it  "Devil's Food".
God then brought forth running shoes so  that His children might lose
those extra pounds. And Satan gave  cable TV with a remote control so Man 
would not have to toil  changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and 
cried before  the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth  the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming
with nutrition.And Satan peeled off the healthful  skin and sliced the
starchy centre
into chips and deep-fried them.  And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man  might consume fewer calories and
still satisfy his appetite. And  Satan created McDonald's and its £1 double 
cheeseburger. Then said  "You want fries with that?" and Man replied "Yes!
And super size  them!" And Satan said "it is good." And Man went into
cardiac arrest.


God sighed and created quadruple  bypass surgery.


Satan, then created the National Health Service.