[CS-FSLUG] Kids............

[Fred A. Miller]

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin 
asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"

"Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an
answer so quickly.

"How do you know that?"

"Easy," the little boy said.

"All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4
worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."
___________________________
  
After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly
announced
to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister When I grow up."
"That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?"
"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway,
and
I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and
listen."
___________________________ 
  
A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon.
"How do you know what to say?" he asked.
"Why, God tells me." "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"
___________________________  
    
A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on.
Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give
him the money now, will he let us go?"
___________________________  
  
Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite
Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four
people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.
The Flight to Egypt, was his reply.

Pointing at each figure, Ms. Terri said, "That must be Mary, Joseph,
and Baby Jesus. But who's the fourth person?"

"Oh, that's Pontius - the pilot.
___________________________
  
The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say
prayers before eating?"
  
"No sir," little Johnny replies, "I don't have to. My Mom is a good cook."
___________________________
  
A college drama group presented a play in which one character would
stand on a trap door and announce, "I descend into hell!" A stagehand below 
would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would spring, and the actor would drop 
from view.
  
The play was well received. When the actor playing the part became ill,
another actor who was quite overweight took his place. When the new actor
announced, "I descend into hell!" the stagehand pulled the rope, and the
actor began his plunge, but became hopelessly stuck. No amount of tugging
on the rope could make him descend.

One student in the balcony jumped up and yelled: "Hallelujah! Hell is full!"
___________________________
  
Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, "After a worship service at First Baptist
Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety seven-year old boy
told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet. About halfway
through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, 'If you don't be
quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will have to start his
sermon all over again!' It worked."
___________________________
  
This is the best one.
  
A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime 
story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up 
to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then 
his again. Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"

"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
  
"Oh," she paused, "grandpa, did God make me too?"

"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."

Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at 
it, isn't he?"

-- 
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