[CS-FSLUG] PD: A Fantastic COWBOY story

[Fred Miller]

A cowboy was herding his herd in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new 
BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. 

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban 
sunglasses, YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I 
tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, 
will you give me a calf?" 

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at 
his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure. Why 
not?" 

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook 
computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on 
the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to 
get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA 
satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young 
man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it 
to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. 

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the 
image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a 
MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with 
hundreds of complex formula. He uploads all of this data via an email on 
his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. 

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, 
miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and 
says, "You have exactly 1586 cows and calves." 

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my 
calves," says the cowboy. 

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on 
amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. 

Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell 
you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The 
young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?" 

"You're a consultant for the Democratic party," says the cowboy. 

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" 

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even 
though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already 
knew, to a question I never asked; and you don't know anything about my 
business... 

.......Now give me back my dog. 

-- 
"Running Windows on a Pentium is like getting a Porsche but only being
able to drive it in reverse with the handbrake on."