[OFB Cafe] THIS JUST IN ...

[Don Spoon]

I will be suspending requests for a "short visit" to your area ...

-Don Spoon-

> THIS JUST IN ...
> Democrats, realizing the huge success of the President's "Cash For 
> Clunkers"
> rebate program, have revamped a major portion of their National Health 
> Care
> Plan.
> President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, and Sen. Reid are expected to make this
> major announcement at a joint news conference later this week. I have
> obtained an advanced copy of the proposal which is named....
> CASH FOR CODGERS and it works like this... Couples wishing to access 
> health
> care funds in order to pay for the delivery of a child will be 
> required to
> turn in one old person for each child they conceive. The amount the
> government grants them will be fixed according to a sliding scale. 
> Older and
> more prescription dependent codgers will garner the highest amounts, 
> while
> younger healthier codgers will earn them less.
> Special "Bonus Money" will be paid for those submitting codgers in 
> targeted
> groups such as  smokers, beer/alcohol drinkers, persons 10 pounds over 
> their
> government prescribed weight, and any member of the Republican Party.
> Smaller bonuses will be given for codgers who eat/drink beef, soda, fried
> foods, tater chips, lattes, whole milk, dairy products, bacon, Brussel
> sprouts, Carvel or Girl Scout Cookies.
> All codgers will be immediately rendered totally useless via toxic 
> injection
> upon submission to the plan. This will insure that they are not secretly
> resold/reused or that their body parts be harvested to keep other 
> codgers in
> decent repair.
>
>